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February is a harsh month in the best of years. The wind whistles in keyholes and rattles windows, tosses snow around and freezes the ears of pedestrians foolish enough to venture out of doors. For those with a more modern method of conveyance, however, visiting is not so unpleasant, and so on a frigid evening Ferdinand knocks at Enjolras' door. Enjolras lets him in with a smile. "Good evening, mon ami." "Good evening," slightly breathless. "How are you?" "I'm quite all right. How are you?" "Cold. But well enough." Ferdinand seems to relax visibly, once inside, as though leaving some burden at the door. "What have you been up to?" "The same things as always," with a shrug. "I'm sure you have a much more varied schedule." Ferdinand grins. "I'm sure I don't. More elaborate, that's all." He embraces Enjolras, as he has taken to doing lately in a sudden access of affection. Enjolras thumps his shoulder gently. "Come now, it must be better in some respects." "Possibly. I couldn't say for certain." Ferdinand lets him go, dropping into a chair, and looks up at him curiously. "Do you ever think -- ever look at someone else, and wonder how things seem to him really? That you can only ever guess at." Enjolras smiles a little. "Quite often. If it were only possible, and yet reversible, there would be no reason for war or government, would there?" "Well, perhaps," resting his chin in his hands. "But knowing would not necessarily translate to understanding, or for that matter understanding to agreeing." "It would foster compromise." Enjolras sits down. "We only need a government for issues that are too large for two men to decide between them." "Perhaps," wryly, "but there are a great many of those." "But most of those issues -- taxes, laws, border disputes -- arise not because one needs a government to decide them but because a government wishes to decide them." "Do you think so?" "If there were no government, who would dare charge taxes?" Enjolras grins at him. "I'm sure I don't know," smiling back. "But, on the other hand, how would anything substantial get done?" "Ah, there's the rub." "A flaw in every plan," Ferdinand says comfortably. Enjolras shrugs a little. "Anarchy is rarely the proper solution. For the French people, who have not lived with it for thousands of years, it would be disastrous." "No doubt." Enjolras blinks at him. "Are you quite all right?" Ferdinand blinks back, then glances away. "Of course." "You aren't acting like yourself," mildly, "that's all." "Aren't I?" lightly. Enjolras shakes his head. "You're quiet." "I suppose so." Ferdinand looks at the floor a moment, then back up at him with a faint smile. "I am sorry. I promise you I'm attending." Enjolras bites his lip. "I didn't doubt that, mon ami. It's not as though I'm holding forth entirely for my own benefit." "Of course you're not," soothing. "Forgive me, Ariel." Enjolras shakes his head a little. "There is nothing to forgive." Ferdinand shrugs, though he is frowning slightly. "Perhaps not." "I would offer that we should go somewhere, but it's rather cold," apologetically. "Damnably cold," Ferdinand agrees, and hesitates a moment before standing to walk to the window. "You're surprisingly snug up here." "I knew you were coming," Enjolras says lightly. "And do you freeze, then, when you don't have company?" equally lightly. Enjolras shrugs a little. "I often read in bed to save the firewood, but that's no way to greet a friend." Ferdinand regards him affectionately, leaning on the window frame. "I suppose not." "Empresses may hold audiences in their toilette, but the rest of us are expected to be slightly better behaved." Enjolras grins. Ferdinand chuckles. "A pity, that." "Oh? How so?" There is a second's pause, and Ferdinand colors faintly. "Behaving well can be somewhat tedious, after a while." Enjolras gives him a calm look. "Do you often wish to entertain guests in such situations?" softly enough that he may well be teasing. Ferdinand runs a hand through his hair. "Not often, no." "Ah." Enjolras bites his lip. "Well." "Hmm?" "It's rather cold to entertain in the bath," mildly. Ferdinand chuckles, though it sounds forced. "True." "If --" He blushes and bites off the next word. "What?" quietly. Enjolras looks fixedly at the floor. "You know I think you are handsome." "O Ariel--" His voice shakes. "I know I promised not to mention it again, but it seemed relevant." "Ah, God, my friend." Ferdinand sighs, and looks away. "I can hardly reproach you for saying such things -- when --" Enjolras glances at him after a prolonged silence. "When what?" "When I look at you, and think much the same," quietly. Enjolras blushes. "Ah." Ferdinand straightens. "Forgive me. There was no need for that, I--" Enjolras takes a few steps toward him. "It's all right." "No. Not really." He looks up, and though his expression is as bland as ever, the look in his eyes is nearly frightened. "I think it is." Enjolras touches his shoulder. Ferdinand gazes at him a moment, then cautiously takes his hand. Enjolras squeezes his fingers. "Mon ami?" He shivers. "What?" "I don't know what you'll accept from me." Ferdinand shakes his head. "I don't know. I--" Without warning, he embraces Enjolras again, both more gently and more urgently than before. Enjolras kisses his cheek experimentally. With a muted sigh, he returns the kiss, reaching up to touch Enjolras' hair. Enjolras embraces him tentatively. "Are you all right?" Ferdinand draws a deep breath. "Yes." "Good." He kisses Ferdinand with a little more confidence. After a minute or two, "God." "Hmm?" "You--" This time, Ferdinand initiates the kiss. Enjolras runs a hand down his back as if he is giving Ferdinand a massage without pressing hard enough to do anything but smooth wrinkles in the fabric of his jacket. "Ariel--" Breathlessly; desperately. Enjolras lets him go a little, trying to get a clear look at him. "Yes?" Ferdinand is quiet, head bent, eyes shut. His hands clasp Enjolras' shoulders tightly, as though he is in danger of falling. "It's all right, Ferdinand," softly. "Anything you want is all right." "I don't even know. I can't--" Enjolras pats his shoulder fraternally. "It's all right." "Is it?" trying to be ironic, but his voice wavers too much for that. "Absolutely." Enjolras gives him a most solemn gaze. "You can ask anything of me, even my complete silence about this." Ferdinand meets his eyes swiftly. "I should hope so." "Of course, mon ami." Enjolras touches his cheek. Ferdinand closes his eyes again, and kisses him once more, a little awkwardly. Enjolras sighs and embraces him again. "Ah, God." It is still breathless, still not quite steady, but the note of panic has faded. "It'll be all right," again. Ferdinand caresses his hair again. "I do hope so." Enjolras kisses him lightly. Ferdinand leans against him a little, sighing. This encourages Enjolras considerably. After a minute, foggily, "We should sit down." "We could, at that." Enjolras kisses him again first. Ferdinand accedes to this readily. When they are both more than a little breathless, Enjolras lets him go enough to tug him toward the bed. He follows willingly, flushed and bewildered. Enjolras sits on the edge near the pillow and pulls Ferdinand down to sit beside him. "It's all right." Ferdinand embraces him again. "I shall take your word for it, then." Enjolras kisses him lightly. Ferdinand tangles a hand in his hair, pulling him closer. Enjolras sighs a little and unbuttons his collar. Ferdinand catches his breath, running his hand down Enjolras' back. "Oh, that's pleasant." He laughs a little. "You sound surprised." Enjolras blinks at him. "I don't do this sort of thing, mon ami." Ferdinand meets his eyes, dazed. "Don't you?" "Not at all." "Ah." He is quiet again, his fingers tracing up and down Enjolras' spine. Enjolras kisses him softly. "God--" After a moment, he returns the kiss less gently. With a sigh, Enjolras runs his fingers through Ferdinand's hair. * * * They lie together after a brief, confused interlude rife with gasps and reassuring words. Despite the cold they have both ended up naked, which makes them huddle together under the blankets all the more. He whom we shall now refer to as Ariel has Ferdinand's head on his shoulder and strokes his hair absentmindedly. It may be this action alone that keeps him from falling asleep, or there may be more problematic notions dancing behind his eyes. "Are you asleep?" he asks after several minutes. There is a blank pause, then, "No." "All right." Ariel kisses his forehead. Ferdinand sighs, embracing him. "You-- I didn't know." "What didn't you know?" putting an arm around his waist. "I--" Unaccountably, he falters. "Hmm?" Ariel says, tugging him a little closer. Ferdinand is quiet for a minute, fingers tracing the line of Ariel's collarbone. "Thank you." "You're welcome." He sighs again, and subsides. "What are you thinking?" softly. "That you're very patient with me." "Impatience serves no good purposes." Ariel shrugs a little. "I suppose not." "Whereas patience -- well, you're here." Ferdinand laughs, though there is a rueful note in it. "Flatterer." Ariel kisses his forehead again. "That's no more than the truth." "Of course," caressing his shoulder. "Then how can it be flattery?" "By implication." He slips back into the tone of their previous conversations, playfully pedantic. "If impatience serves no good purpose--" Ariel shifts a little and kisses him properly. Ferdinand acquiesces, embracing him again. "Impatience is foul," Ariel says breathlessly, running a hand over his hip, "but hyperbole is more so." "What hyperbole?" shivering a little. "I've engaged in none, given that it is unpalatable." Another kiss interrupts this half-teasing discourse. Ferdinand winds a hand in his hair, sighing. Presently, "That's wise of you." "I thought it was at least foresighted." "Yes." Ariel rubs his back. "In any case." "Hmm?" "I don't know." A pause, then, "When do you need to be back?" Ferdinand sighs. "Soon." "Oh," sadly. Ariel kisses him again. "Mm," returning the kiss at length. "What time is it?" "I'm not sure. My watch is in my waistcoat pocket." "Ah." Quiet for a moment. Then, not moving, "We should get up and look." "We should," Ariel agrees. Ferdinand kisses him. Ariel sighs a little and returns the kiss. "I'm sorry," letting him go. "It's all right," firmly. Ferdinand touches his cheek. "If you're sure." "I'm certain." A deep breath. "All right." Ariel captures one hand and squeezes it. "You had best go, but you're welcome whenever you've a moment to spare." Ferdinand kisses his fingers, wordlessly, then sits up. "It's all right." Ariel puts on his shirt, looking away from Ferdinand while the latter dresses. When they are both clad, Ferdinand looks back at him and cautiously offers a hand. Ariel embraces him again, shivering a little. "Good night, mon ami." Ferdinand kisses his cheek. "Good night." He hesitates an instant, then lets Ariel go and turns to depart. "Until later," softly. |